Must My Wannabe Content Creator Friend Stop Using Me for Content?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?